Last summer, I went to a Miami club for the first time, and it went exactly how you might expect.
I won’t get into the nitty-gritty, but I definitely felt a little out of place. It wasn’t the location or the fact that it was a club, but it was the group I was with.
I was with family and their friends.
Blink twice if you think family and a Miami club is a questionable mix. I agree. The strangers didn’t bother me, the music could’ve been better, but it wasn’t that either. It was the overall scenario of being in a vulnerable state in front of people I’d known my whole life.
Writing online is similar, and there’s a self-created barrier to success.
Here’s the ultimate differentiator
It’s your resistance to comparing yourself to others.
On any social media platform, the FOMO hits hard. Someone you know is at Coachella and you’re not, or another writer has 100,000 subscribers in their newsletter.
You know you could retire early with a following like that. It’s easy to be jealous — it’s harder to stay true to your path.
There’s always going to be someone doing what you’re doing and doing it “better.” The quotes are there to prove a point. Success is a subjective metric, and most people don’t know it.
When you compare yourself to others, you limit your potential. The writer with 100K followers looks like an Eldin Ring boss who’s about to lay the smackdown on you and make you quit the game once and for all.
Letting go of others’ success means you can grow. It’s like taking care of a house plant. All you can do is water the plant and give it enough sunlight. You know how big the plant can grow, but know it’ll take years to get there in the back of your mind.
Your work is a plant. Water it. And be patient.
It’s a tough gig. You have to nourish it consistently without seeing the end goal for months, even years.
Patience is the name of the game, but there’s something else you can do that helps.
Turn your damn phone off
At the start of 2022, I made a goal to consume more content and create less.
But I have a problem.
When I sit to read a novel, I get antsy, and want to slam my book closed and start writing my own content. This year, I tried to control that urge and read from other bright minds.
Well, I’ve done a pretty crappy job of it. I haven’t read any books, and I’ve read fewer blog posts this year than in 2020 or 2021.
The truth is, it’s a good thing. I shut out the noise in my head, and I’ve been focused on my work this year. I have a relatively new job, and I’m exploring the city I moved to half a year ago.
I’m at a point in my life of real-world discovery. And I think it's essential to go through this phase. Instead of clenching my jaw every time I read another viral story, I drink wine in the city and have conversations.
Shutting my socials down from 10 PM to 10 AM every day also helps. This helps keep me away from late-night scrolls on Instagram, and I get more sleep in the process too, so I have the energy to create.
The important thing: if you take a break, what matters is that you eventually come back.
I want to read, but I know it’s important to develop myself for now.
The superpower you gain
When you care less about what others are writing, you become frictionless.
Reading others' work makes you want to emulate them. You pick up on their style and run away from your own. While “stealing like an artist” is fine, there’s a difference between providing unique insight and not writing like yourself.
Caring less is freeing. You have the freedom to write and not give a shit about what others will say. You know you’re putting out value, and the right people will come eventually.
The bottom line: find the balance between creation and consumption. Follow other writers in your boat.
How can they make you better?
Great pep talk. Came at the right time. To improve, I write and read. 30 chapters into my memoir!